all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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