Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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