Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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