oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
