Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
