I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
