About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize