i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
