dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
