I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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