I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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