So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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