Will you blow on my dice?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
