i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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