i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
