Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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