You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
