don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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