If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
