Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
