when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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