Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
