oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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