Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
