I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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