he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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