I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I deserve this hangover.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
