I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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