My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
