Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize