i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
