You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
