She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
