He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So here I am, sexting at work.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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