none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
