yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
