North Korea, Best Korea!
one might say we're banned from that church
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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