I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
