Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
