69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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