Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
