Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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