Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
