Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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