Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
