Yo dont text me then not text me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize