so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
