Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
