When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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