we're chasing vodka with high fives
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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