is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
