community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
