Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
