WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
