I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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