I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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