I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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