Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
