found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
