you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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