chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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