Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
